Letting go of the baby's schedule can be a real bitch. Brian and I had been bickering this past week about bedtime - he wants a hard and firm time and I'm more loosey goosey. And finally we realized that some nights bedtime will be within our control and sometimes it won't be. Period. A hard thing for both of us to accept....

I'm also realizing that being negative about other people feeds my ego in a yucky way. Gossiping and judging others gives me a vague sense of feeling better than others - even though it's an empty kind of feeling. Then later on, I just feel guilty and end up not liking myself for gossiping and being judgemental. So I lose twice....which is no fun.

Thankfully, I find myself feeling much more positive these days. Today, I can say that I am truly grateful for Zoloft. :) And I'm also grateful to not feel ashamed about taking it. There's been such a shift in the last couple of days for me. I know I'm not "out of the woods" with the depression, but it's SO refreshing to feel like I'm on the upswing.

I've been thinking about leaving my job and being a work at home mom. I would probably still do little projects here and there on an hourly basis for my company, just to keep my foot in the door and to give myself an outside focus. But the truth is, I don't really care about what I'm doing so it seems silly to spend so much time doing it. Of course, financially it would be a major lifestyle change for Brian and I if I stopped working (since we are equal wage earners).

I'm examining my willingness to live more simply...and to be honest, I'm not sure how that will end up. I like earning money and I like being able to buy and do things. And now that I'm feeling less overwhelmed, I find that I want to be home (with Sophie, and not working) more. I guess more will be revealed, right?