Day Two--Tougher!
Okay, so I made it through Day Two. Phew! It was much tougher than day one, however.
I'm hanging in there. I've already noticed some nice improvements in my body--skin is looking good, hair is feeling better, I'm sleeping like a rock, and my voice is less raspy (singing is more fun!). But yesterday was tough. I was okay in the morning, but the afternoon was murderous. I really wasn't able to concentrate on work at all and wound up screwing off most of the day.
By screwing off, I mean surfing the internet for helpful quitting websites, lounging on the couch and putting information packets together, and never getting out of my pajamas. Not so terrible in the long run, but I'm feeling guilty. I always feel guilty when I don't give absolutely 100% of myself to my work every minute of my work day. But the truth is, I've never (in the three months I've been working out of my home for this job) totally signed-off for a whole day and just sat on the couch watching TV. I've taken long lunch breaks (for meetings, usually) and worked less than 8 hours, but it's not the norm and I always feel guilty about it. I hate feeling like a bad employee! But my justification is that--if this is what it takes for me to quit smoking, then lounging around is more important than work for the next couple of days.
The same goes for food. If I need to overeat in order to deal with the effects of quitting smoking, so be it. I won't go off the deep end and I won't overeat forever. It's temporary. And I'm allowing myself to do it. If I gain five pounds, so be it. I'll be a non-smoker and that's more important.
I led a meeting last night on letting go. Great meeting--I got some really good insights from other members about releasing aspects of my life. Particularly helpful in dealing with releasing an addiction! It's totally a God thing for me--I think before, I was so afraid to admit that I was powerless over smoking because it made me feel out of control. But I think the reason that this quit is different for me is because I am accepting the fact that my addiction to nicotine is bigger than me, and that I'll need help from a power greater than myself to remove it.
So I'm asking for help. And remembering that I can detach from my feelings--I can take a step back from my urges to smoke and observe them like a snowglobe in my hand. And I can, with the help of a HP, remember that urges pass and I'm not alone in this.
It feels much more peaceful this way. I don't have to be all strong and powerful...I can just be honest and fully experience this journey to a healthier me. It feels right, so I'm going with it!
Day three is on...and I'm feeling pretty good. :)
I'm hanging in there. I've already noticed some nice improvements in my body--skin is looking good, hair is feeling better, I'm sleeping like a rock, and my voice is less raspy (singing is more fun!). But yesterday was tough. I was okay in the morning, but the afternoon was murderous. I really wasn't able to concentrate on work at all and wound up screwing off most of the day.
By screwing off, I mean surfing the internet for helpful quitting websites, lounging on the couch and putting information packets together, and never getting out of my pajamas. Not so terrible in the long run, but I'm feeling guilty. I always feel guilty when I don't give absolutely 100% of myself to my work every minute of my work day. But the truth is, I've never (in the three months I've been working out of my home for this job) totally signed-off for a whole day and just sat on the couch watching TV. I've taken long lunch breaks (for meetings, usually) and worked less than 8 hours, but it's not the norm and I always feel guilty about it. I hate feeling like a bad employee! But my justification is that--if this is what it takes for me to quit smoking, then lounging around is more important than work for the next couple of days.
The same goes for food. If I need to overeat in order to deal with the effects of quitting smoking, so be it. I won't go off the deep end and I won't overeat forever. It's temporary. And I'm allowing myself to do it. If I gain five pounds, so be it. I'll be a non-smoker and that's more important.
I led a meeting last night on letting go. Great meeting--I got some really good insights from other members about releasing aspects of my life. Particularly helpful in dealing with releasing an addiction! It's totally a God thing for me--I think before, I was so afraid to admit that I was powerless over smoking because it made me feel out of control. But I think the reason that this quit is different for me is because I am accepting the fact that my addiction to nicotine is bigger than me, and that I'll need help from a power greater than myself to remove it.
So I'm asking for help. And remembering that I can detach from my feelings--I can take a step back from my urges to smoke and observe them like a snowglobe in my hand. And I can, with the help of a HP, remember that urges pass and I'm not alone in this.
It feels much more peaceful this way. I don't have to be all strong and powerful...I can just be honest and fully experience this journey to a healthier me. It feels right, so I'm going with it!
Day three is on...and I'm feeling pretty good. :)
posted by GirlRy at 8:32 AM
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