Puppy insecurity

I know, it's crazy. But lately, I'm feeling like our dog isn't such a huge fan of me.

I was telling Brian this morning--it's kind of like when I was teaching....I was the strict teacher who was fun at times. I worked with another woman who was really fun all the time (and one hell of a teacher), but wasn't that strict. The kids always liked her better....and it always nagged at me a bit.

So now with the dog--I know I'm a bit more rigid about the "rules" than Brian is, particularly when Mara is on the leash. I also have a louder voice than he does. So I guess it's no wonder that the dog gravitates to him, but it still bothers me.

Ihad an unconscious expectation that the dog would live with both of us, but really be "my dog." This is partially because I've grown up with golden retrievers my whole life and therefore are really comfortable with them, and partly because Brian has never really been a dog person.

So it's hard to see her get really excited whenever Brian walks into a room and not give me much attention when I do.

I'm not sure why this is bothering me so much, but it makes me feel like a bad parent. Like if only I did something differently, she would turn cartwheels at the sight of me. I'm sure that I just need to relax and accept my relationship with the dog for what it is. I'm also sure that I need to stop comparing my relationship with Mara to Brian's.

I feel so silly even writing about this--but it's upsetting to me. I feel like it's trivial and stupid, and that I'm just being oversensitive, but I also know I'm thinking and worrying (obsessing?) about it.

Maybe I'll take her for a walk (without Brian) this morning so we can play in the snow. Sounds like fun!