It's been a while...
...but things are good. Totally unresolved, but good.
I have spent the past few days with my sister, who is visiting for the Holidays. She's from far away and I miss her so much all the time--so it's been fantastic spending time with her.
I took Friday off for my big day at the "new job." Well, as it turns out, the job is not mine yet. A rather large wrench was thrown in the works when I found out that I have to go to New Jersey for a "final interview" with the VP of the company. Fuck me! Of course, he is not available until after the new year and I got the distinct impression that a conference call is out of the question.
Now to the more concerning piece--I spent the day with Drew (a future co-worker). Wow, this guy is a character. He talks about eighty miles a minute, drinks coffee like it's heroin, and is slightly bigotted to boot. Yikes. Super yikes.
So I shadowed him throughout the day and he was telling me what it's really like to work at this company. Lots of sales calls to restaurants (mostly ethnic restaurants, which he says is because "they are dirty"), business owners, offices, and apartment complexes. The day itself was a whirlwind but here's the bottom line: This guy is going to drive me nuts. But the good news is that I'll really be on my own, so we won't have a lot of contact. He seemed to like me well enough, so I think the problem will be one-sided. And here's my arrogance talking--I'm smarter than he is so I can play him like a violin. Done.
I have a feeling in my gut that's saying that this job isn't as perfect as I thought. I hate even admitting that. BUT (and this is a big "but") I have left my job and I still believe that was the right decision. I've spoken to my husband Brian about it and neither of us are freaking out too much. I'm going to follow up on some other leads and schedule at least one more interview before I accept this job. Still trusting the universe on this one--I think it's going to take a couple of weeks before I have enough information to decide what the next right thing to do is. Kinda scary, but I'm okay with it for the moment.
Secondly, my sister Erin and I drove to New York yesterday to visit family. We had a blast at my aunt's holiday open house--got to visit with some aunts, uncles, cousines, etc. It was really nice and I ate my face off.
Then, last night we were off to Connecticut to visit my grandmother. She's old and ailing -- and she believes that she's not long for this Earth. So it's always a little emotional to see her.... I always do the "this is the last time I'm going to see her" thing in my head. We had a nice but short visit and I cried when we left (which made her cry). I need to get to see her again soon. She's so easy to be around and I love spending time with her.
She's got emphysema, which brings me to my next internal dialogue, which is of course about my own smoking addiction. I see her, carting an oxygen tank everywhere she goes, and getting winded by taking two steps to turn the TV off. I see how shut off she is from the rest of the world...she can't go anywhere because she has trouble breathing everywhere. I have to quit smoking. I know that it's really selfish to make her struggle about me--but if it can happen to her, then I'm not exempt. I have to quit. And just thinking about it stresses me out.
Brian is quitting in January. And I need to as well. Oh God it's going to be tough. But it will also be liberating and wonderful. And I can't even really say anything more about it....or else I'll get stressed out and want a smoke.
My only regret from this weekend is missing the opportunity to see my old roomie Chion. I'm a total asshole--but it was starting to snow when we left Connecticut this afternoon and I was scared that the drive was going to be hellish (which is was, at points, b/c of the weather). So Erin and I took off without stopping by to see Chion. And I feel like a schmuch--mostly because I really wanted to see her and tell her how incredible I think she is. And that her blog is like an ADDICTION for me...and that she is such an inspiration in my life, far away though she may be. And how I'm jealous of her songs and her songwriting and her voice (singing voice and soul voice) and the absolutely fucking FEARLESS way she lives her life and how I wish I was able to see her all the time and have coffee and talk about nothing for hours. [How's that for a run-on sentence? Spoken like a true English major!] Chion's easily one of the best roommates and best people I've ever had in my life. And I'm just grateful to know her, even from afar. So Chi, if you are reading this, know that I love you so much and I'm sorry that I missed you. I WON'T NEXT TIME!!!
So I'm going into the office tomorrow. And Tuesday is my last day of gainful employment. yee haw!
By the way--notes of encouragement (from friends and strangers) are encouraged and much appreciated. I'm in need of support here, and I'll take it from anyone who's willing to give it!!
I have spent the past few days with my sister, who is visiting for the Holidays. She's from far away and I miss her so much all the time--so it's been fantastic spending time with her.
I took Friday off for my big day at the "new job." Well, as it turns out, the job is not mine yet. A rather large wrench was thrown in the works when I found out that I have to go to New Jersey for a "final interview" with the VP of the company. Fuck me! Of course, he is not available until after the new year and I got the distinct impression that a conference call is out of the question.
Now to the more concerning piece--I spent the day with Drew (a future co-worker). Wow, this guy is a character. He talks about eighty miles a minute, drinks coffee like it's heroin, and is slightly bigotted to boot. Yikes. Super yikes.
So I shadowed him throughout the day and he was telling me what it's really like to work at this company. Lots of sales calls to restaurants (mostly ethnic restaurants, which he says is because "they are dirty"), business owners, offices, and apartment complexes. The day itself was a whirlwind but here's the bottom line: This guy is going to drive me nuts. But the good news is that I'll really be on my own, so we won't have a lot of contact. He seemed to like me well enough, so I think the problem will be one-sided. And here's my arrogance talking--I'm smarter than he is so I can play him like a violin. Done.
I have a feeling in my gut that's saying that this job isn't as perfect as I thought. I hate even admitting that. BUT (and this is a big "but") I have left my job and I still believe that was the right decision. I've spoken to my husband Brian about it and neither of us are freaking out too much. I'm going to follow up on some other leads and schedule at least one more interview before I accept this job. Still trusting the universe on this one--I think it's going to take a couple of weeks before I have enough information to decide what the next right thing to do is. Kinda scary, but I'm okay with it for the moment.
Secondly, my sister Erin and I drove to New York yesterday to visit family. We had a blast at my aunt's holiday open house--got to visit with some aunts, uncles, cousines, etc. It was really nice and I ate my face off.
Then, last night we were off to Connecticut to visit my grandmother. She's old and ailing -- and she believes that she's not long for this Earth. So it's always a little emotional to see her.... I always do the "this is the last time I'm going to see her" thing in my head. We had a nice but short visit and I cried when we left (which made her cry). I need to get to see her again soon. She's so easy to be around and I love spending time with her.
She's got emphysema, which brings me to my next internal dialogue, which is of course about my own smoking addiction. I see her, carting an oxygen tank everywhere she goes, and getting winded by taking two steps to turn the TV off. I see how shut off she is from the rest of the world...she can't go anywhere because she has trouble breathing everywhere. I have to quit smoking. I know that it's really selfish to make her struggle about me--but if it can happen to her, then I'm not exempt. I have to quit. And just thinking about it stresses me out.
Brian is quitting in January. And I need to as well. Oh God it's going to be tough. But it will also be liberating and wonderful. And I can't even really say anything more about it....or else I'll get stressed out and want a smoke.
My only regret from this weekend is missing the opportunity to see my old roomie Chion. I'm a total asshole--but it was starting to snow when we left Connecticut this afternoon and I was scared that the drive was going to be hellish (which is was, at points, b/c of the weather). So Erin and I took off without stopping by to see Chion. And I feel like a schmuch--mostly because I really wanted to see her and tell her how incredible I think she is. And that her blog is like an ADDICTION for me...and that she is such an inspiration in my life, far away though she may be. And how I'm jealous of her songs and her songwriting and her voice (singing voice and soul voice) and the absolutely fucking FEARLESS way she lives her life and how I wish I was able to see her all the time and have coffee and talk about nothing for hours. [How's that for a run-on sentence? Spoken like a true English major!] Chion's easily one of the best roommates and best people I've ever had in my life. And I'm just grateful to know her, even from afar. So Chi, if you are reading this, know that I love you so much and I'm sorry that I missed you. I WON'T NEXT TIME!!!
So I'm going into the office tomorrow. And Tuesday is my last day of gainful employment. yee haw!
By the way--notes of encouragement (from friends and strangers) are encouraged and much appreciated. I'm in need of support here, and I'll take it from anyone who's willing to give it!!
posted by GirlRy at 8:21 PM
1 Comments:
ay baby! NOT a problem- i'm sad i didn't get to see you, but really, i'll take whatever i can get, whenever i can get it. SO i'll see you (hopefully) soon!!! I am made of 3 cubic feet of patience.
:)
love you, roomie!!!
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