There's a first time for everything...
...but this isn't my first blog.
Well, technically it's my first "blog" but not my first online diary. The first online diary I started was because I was inspired by my roommate, Chion. She had one and I thought the idea was pretty neat. So I started one.
The second one I had was when I tried to quit smoking (ha). It was a great support tool, actually, and I 'met' a lot of really nice quitters. That is, until I started smoking again. I just felt like such a big fat loser that I closed the diary.
So now I'm starting this one. We'll see how long it lasts. The truth is, I have Chion to thank for this blog as well. She's an amazing woman...and even though we don't talk much anymore, I still check in on her blog every once in a while.
Anyway, today's just a day like any other...except I got yelled at by my boss for wearing jeans. Whatever... I don't even feel like commenting on that.
Well, except to say that when I was 19 and in college and dreaming of what my life would be, I pretty much dreamed of the life that I have now. I'm in love, own a convertible (albeit a used one), own my own home (with my wonderful partner), have a rather peaceful life, found some spirituality, have a fantastic cat Moxie, and enjoy the company of a small handful of truly wonderful friends. What I didn't imagine, was hauling an hour and a half to work each way, working for "THE MAN" (and when I say "the man", I mean the only TRUE "man", the government) and dealing with a boss who, though I do excellent work and make her look REALLY good, can only comment on my wearing jeans the day before Thanksgiving break.
But I am grateful. I am grateful that at 27, I can stand up for myself and create healthy boundaries. And I'm also grateful that my life doesn't revolve around my (sometimes crappy) boss and my (always crappy) commute. I am grateful that I'm spending Thanksgiving with my partner's family. Even with all of their disfunction and all of our differences, they have wonderful hearts. I love being around them because I get to witness how hard they try to fight showing how much they love each other, only to have it leak out when they laugh with each other, or in the slight gestures that you only notice if you're looking. It's poetic, really.
Not like my family. We are a Stuart Smalley skit waiting to happen. We cry when we see each other and cry when we leave. We hug and cuddle and tell each other how grateful we are to know one another. There's a comfort in that...but there's also a compulsion. It's almost refreshing to be around a family who obviously loves one another, but chooses to let each other just know it, instead of screaming it across the Thanksgiving table.
I wish I had a few more hours to write--part of the reason I need this blog so much is because I've got so much going through my head. So many new thoughts, so many old memories haunting me. But, I keep reminding myself, there's plenty of time. I have so much time to investigate and discover my depths and create new awareness in my life.
So here's to the blog--the most UNanonymous way to discover my most intimate, honest self.
Well, technically it's my first "blog" but not my first online diary. The first online diary I started was because I was inspired by my roommate, Chion. She had one and I thought the idea was pretty neat. So I started one.
The second one I had was when I tried to quit smoking (ha). It was a great support tool, actually, and I 'met' a lot of really nice quitters. That is, until I started smoking again. I just felt like such a big fat loser that I closed the diary.
So now I'm starting this one. We'll see how long it lasts. The truth is, I have Chion to thank for this blog as well. She's an amazing woman...and even though we don't talk much anymore, I still check in on her blog every once in a while.
Anyway, today's just a day like any other...except I got yelled at by my boss for wearing jeans. Whatever... I don't even feel like commenting on that.
Well, except to say that when I was 19 and in college and dreaming of what my life would be, I pretty much dreamed of the life that I have now. I'm in love, own a convertible (albeit a used one), own my own home (with my wonderful partner), have a rather peaceful life, found some spirituality, have a fantastic cat Moxie, and enjoy the company of a small handful of truly wonderful friends. What I didn't imagine, was hauling an hour and a half to work each way, working for "THE MAN" (and when I say "the man", I mean the only TRUE "man", the government) and dealing with a boss who, though I do excellent work and make her look REALLY good, can only comment on my wearing jeans the day before Thanksgiving break.
But I am grateful. I am grateful that at 27, I can stand up for myself and create healthy boundaries. And I'm also grateful that my life doesn't revolve around my (sometimes crappy) boss and my (always crappy) commute. I am grateful that I'm spending Thanksgiving with my partner's family. Even with all of their disfunction and all of our differences, they have wonderful hearts. I love being around them because I get to witness how hard they try to fight showing how much they love each other, only to have it leak out when they laugh with each other, or in the slight gestures that you only notice if you're looking. It's poetic, really.
Not like my family. We are a Stuart Smalley skit waiting to happen. We cry when we see each other and cry when we leave. We hug and cuddle and tell each other how grateful we are to know one another. There's a comfort in that...but there's also a compulsion. It's almost refreshing to be around a family who obviously loves one another, but chooses to let each other just know it, instead of screaming it across the Thanksgiving table.
I wish I had a few more hours to write--part of the reason I need this blog so much is because I've got so much going through my head. So many new thoughts, so many old memories haunting me. But, I keep reminding myself, there's plenty of time. I have so much time to investigate and discover my depths and create new awareness in my life.
So here's to the blog--the most UNanonymous way to discover my most intimate, honest self.
posted by GirlRy at 12:50 PM
1 Comments:
oh MAN, you have no idea how happy i am that you're doing this! For many reasons: I miss you and want to know what's going on in your life, and also frankly because i'm a huge voyeur. :)
Update often!!! Tell Moxy and Brian that me and Momo say hello (he misses his girlfriend- no one has ever compared). :)
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